On the Other Side of Fear is Everything You Ever Wanted

A letter form Stuart Thompson

You know that person in the Co-op. The one who always seems to find you by the baked beans. They lean in close, eyes wide, and start pouring out the latest gossip. You didn’t ask for it. You don’t even want it. But there it is, spilling all over you.

And the more you listen, the more they give you. Stories you didn’t need. Worries you didn’t have before. By the time you walk out with your shopping, you’re carrying bags heavier than you went in with.

That’s anxiety. It’s not the truth. It’s the gossip. The brain spinning tales about disasters that don’t exist, convincing you that fear is fact. And like any gossip, the more you nod along, the more it comes back next time. Louder. Stronger. Hungrier.

When people feel anxious, they often do what seems natural. They avoid. They dodge the gossip. They change their route. They cross the road. They stop putting themselves in situations where the gossip might catch them. And for a short while, it works. The fear eases, the gossip is silenced, and life feels calmer.

But every time you avoid, your brain learns the wrong lesson. It learns that the gossip must be dangerous. And so the alarm gets louder the next time. And louder again. I’ve seen people shrink their whole worlds this way. Parents who stop going to school events because the car park feels overwhelming. Teenagers who won’t leave their bedrooms because socialising feels like walking through fire. Adults who build their lives around dodging imaginary threats until their freedom is smaller than a corner shop aisle. Avoidance doesn’t cure anxiety. It feeds it.

This is why anxiety is so convincing. It doesn’t whisper politely. It screams. It floods your body with racing heartbeats, sweaty palms, and the sense that you are about to lose everything. But here’s the strange part. Neuroscientists have discovered that anxious brains mishear the body. In one study, anxious people thought their hearts were racing far faster than they actually were. Their own biology was lying to them. Think about that. Anxiety isn’t proof of danger. It’s proof of a false alarm. Your brain thinks you’re about to be eaten by a tiger when in reality you’re just sending an email, or walking into a classroom, or sitting in traffic. It’s the old gossip again. Loud, insistent, persuasive. But wrong.

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, society adds two more lies on top. First, it tells you that avoidance is the cure. Just don’t do the thing that scares you. Don’t go to the party. Don’t take the job. Don’t push your child out of their comfort zone. Protect them. Protect yourself. But avoidance is no cure. It’s a trap. Second, it tells you that you’ll be like this forever. That anxiety is a permanent stamp on your life. That you’ll always be “an anxious person.” That you’ll never be free. And that lie is the cruellest of all, because it steals hope.

Here’s what nobody told you. Anxiety is not forever. And it is not cured by avoidance. Anxiety is a habit of thought, a pattern of the brain, a gossip that gets louder the more you listen. And like all habits, it can be retrained. That’s where the Still Method comes in. It isn’t magic. It isn’t quick fixes or fluffy affirmations. It’s the blending of what we know works — mindfulness, CBT, NLP, positive psychology — into something practical, simple, and human. It teaches you how to stop nodding at the gossip and start stepping outside again.

Next time anxiety corners you, try this. Name the thought. Call it out. Like spotting the gossip in the aisle and saying, “Here they are again.” Ask yourself, “Is this fact or fear?” Separate the truth from the story. Reframe it. Instead of “I’ll fail this presentation,” try, “I feel nervous, but I’ve prepared well, and nerves are normal.” Anchor it with your body. Slow your breath. Relax your shoulders. Let your body remind your brain that you’re safe. Four small steps. Not dramatic. Not complicated. But powerful enough to begin rewriting the pattern.

I’ve seen children who were too anxious to step into a classroom learn to walk in smiling after weeks of gentle practice. I’ve seen adults who thought they were destined to live small, fearful lives rediscover confidence they thought was gone forever. I’ve seen parents who once felt powerless learn how to soothe their child’s fear with calm authority instead of panic. These changes don’t happen by accident. They happen because the gossip loses power when you stop feeding it.

Pos practices raise serotonin in the brain, lifting mood. CBT challenges false thoughts and shows the brain that danger is not real. Mindfulness strengthens the prefrontal cortex, the part that makes decisions calmly instead of reacting in panic. NLP reframes language so that the stories you tell yourself empower you instead of trap you. The science is clear. But science alone doesn’t change lives. Practice does. Consistency does. Choosing, every day, to step outside instead of staying in the aisle.

Here’s the truth. On the other side of fear is everything you ever wanted. Every dream. Every relationship. Every opportunity. Every ounce of confidence you thought you lost. Fear is not the wall. It’s the doorway. And the moment you decide to stop listening to the gossip and step outside, you begin to discover what’s been waiting for you all along.

So if you remember nothing else from this letter, remember this. You are not broken. You are not stuck. And you are not destined to live your life in the Co-op listening to gossip that was never true. Step outside. Feel the sun. Watch the adventures unfold. Because on the other side of fear is everything you ever wanted.

Stuart