Anticipatory Grief: What It Is and How Training Prepares You to Support It

Most people think grief begins after a loss. But for many, it begins long before — in hospital waiting rooms, in whispered diagnoses, in the slow changes that signal life will never be the same.

This is anticipatory grief: the grief that comes before a loss.

What Is Anticipatory Grief?

Anticipatory grief describes the feelings of loss and mourning that occur before an actual bereavement. It often arises when someone:

• Receives a life-limiting diagnosis.

• Watches a loved one slowly decline through dementia, chronic illness, or ageing.

• Faces the reality of losing a relationship, identity, or independence.

Unlike shock after a sudden death, anticipatory grief unfolds over time. It can involve waves of hope and despair, moments of closeness and distance, and the exhausting cycle of preparing for goodbye while still living in the present.

Why Anticipatory Grief Is Overlooked

Because there hasn’t been a death yet, people experiencing anticipatory grief are often misunderstood. They may be told to “stay positive” or “not give up hope,” which can silence their very real feelings of mourning.

Support networks sometimes struggle too. Friends and colleagues may not know how to respond — they see someone alive, not realising that the grieving has already begun.

How It Affects Families and Carers

Anticipatory grief can strain relationships:

• Partners and children may feel like they’re already losing the person, even before death occurs.

• Carers often experience guilt — grieving the decline while still committed to daily care.

• Families may face conflict as each person grieves differently, some clinging to hope while others start to prepare.

Without support, this can lead to isolation, guilt, and prolonged grief after the actual loss.

How Training Prepares You to Support It

Accredited grief training equips practitioners to:

• Recognise anticipatory grief and name it, which can itself bring relief.

• Provide safe spaces where families can express both love and sorrow without judgement.

• Use trauma-informed techniques to ground clients in moments of overwhelm.

• Offer structured activities that help families share memories, strengthen bonds, and prepare gently for change.

• Support carers who may feel invisible in the shadow of illness.

By naming and working with anticipatory grief, coaches help people feel less alone in the long waiting period before loss.

FAQs

Is anticipatory grief a sign of “giving up” on someone?
No. It’s a natural response to the reality of decline or approaching death. It doesn’t mean love or hope are absent — it means the mind and body are preparing for change.

Can children experience anticipatory grief?
Yes. Children often pick up on changes around them long before adults think they understand. Training helps you support children in ways that are age-appropriate and safe.

Does grief training cover anticipatory grief?
Yes. Accredited grief coach training prepares practitioners to recognise and support all forms of grief, including the hidden and less understood experiences like anticipatory grief.

Finding the Right Training

If you want to support people facing anticipatory grief, you’ll need training that is accredited, trauma-informed, and inclusive of all grief experiences.

Our in-depth guide explains what grief coach training involves and how to get started:
👉 Accredited Grief Coach Training: Support Others After Loss, With Confidence