Disenfranchised Grief: The Hidden Losses That Training Needs to Cover
Not all grief is openly recognised. Some losses are quietly endured, dismissed by others, or judged as “less important.” This is what psychologists call disenfranchised grief — grief that isn’t acknowledged, validated, or supported by society.
If you’re exploring bereavement or grief training, understanding disenfranchised grief is essential. It’s often the grief that shows up in silence, in shame, or in unexpected places.
What Is Disenfranchised Grief?
The term was coined by grief researcher Kenneth Doka to describe the experiences of people whose losses were not socially recognised. Common examples include:
Miscarriage or stillbirth – sometimes minimised as if “it wasn’t a real child.”
Pet loss – dismissed as trivial, even though the bond may be as deep as family.
Divorce, relationship breakdown, or estrangement – the person is still alive, but the loss is life-changing.
Loss of identity or health – such as chronic illness, disability, or infertility.
Stigmatised losses – deaths connected to suicide, overdose, or incarceration.
In each of these, the mourner may feel isolated, invalidated, or even shamed for grieving.
Why Disenfranchised Grief Is So Difficult
Grief is always hard — but when society doesn’t “allow” you to grieve, the pain becomes layered with loneliness. People experiencing disenfranchised grief often:
Struggle to find safe spaces to talk about their feelings.
Feel pressure to “move on” quickly.
Experience complicated or prolonged grief because their pain is hidden.
Turn to unhealthy coping strategies when support is absent.
For practitioners, this means disenfranchised grief can often go unnoticed unless you know what to look for.
How Grief Training Prepares You to Support It
Good bereavement training goes beyond the obvious losses. It equips you to:
Recognise unspoken grief – noticing when someone is grieving something they haven’t named out loud.
Create safe, validating spaces – where people don’t need to justify why their loss “counts.”
Use trauma-informed techniques – to help clients feel grounded and respected, rather than judged.
Offer creative outlets – such as journaling, metaphor, or gentle art-based exercises (as used in STILL Art) that let people express what words can’t.
This is where accredited, structured training makes the difference. It helps you move from well-meaning empathy to practical, ethical support.
Why It Matters in 2025
In the UK today, demand for grief support is rising. The NHS is under strain, counselling waiting lists are long, and many people are turning to alternative forms of support. Disenfranchised grief often slips through the cracks of formal services — yet it’s everywhere.
From young people quietly mourning a friendship breakdown, to adults struggling with invisible losses like infertility or identity shifts, disenfranchised grief is shaping lives in silence. Training that acknowledges this makes you better prepared to meet people where they are.
FAQs
Is disenfranchised grief really “as serious” as bereavement after death?
Yes. The intensity of grief is not determined by whether society approves of it. For many, these hidden losses are life-defining and deeply painful.
Do you need special qualifications to support disenfranchised grief?
No — but you do need training that is ethical, accredited, and trauma-informed. Grief coaching courses can prepare you with safe, structured approaches.
How does grief coaching differ from counselling here?
Counsellors may work with deeper trauma or mental health complications. Coaches provide structured, forward-focused support that complements (not replaces) therapy.
Finding the Right Training
If you want to work with all forms of grief — including the hidden and unspoken ones — you need training that recognises the full picture.
Our in-depth guide breaks down what grief coach training involves and why accreditation matters:
Accredited Grief Coach Training: Support Others After Loss, With Confidence
