Supporting a Grieving Teen: What Most Adults Get Wrong
Teenagers and grief.
Two words that rarely sit easily together—yet grief hits hard in adolescence. And most adults, even well-meaning ones, are simply not equipped to help.
It’s not because they don’t care.
It’s because the old playbook doesn’t work here.
If you work with young people, or you’re a parent, teacher or carer, this is for you.
And if you’ve ever felt unsure about what to say—or terrified of saying the wrong thing—you’re not alone.
Why Teen Grief Often Gets Missed
Teenagers are often seen as unpredictable, moody, or withdrawn. So when grief shows up, it can easily be mistaken for “acting out” or “hormones.”
But grief in teens can look like:
Extreme silence or emotional shutdown
Explosive anger over small things
Risk-taking behaviours
School refusal or sudden drop in performance
Overcompensating with humour or bravado
Many teens won’t say “I’m grieving.”
Instead, they’ll show you. And if the adults around them aren’t trained to notice—those signs get missed.
The Limits of Well-Meaning Advice
When a teenager loses someone, they’re often flooded with phrases like:
“Be strong for your mum.”
“They wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
“It’s time to move forward now.”
These might be intended as comfort—but they create pressure to “perform” grief in a way that’s tidy and quiet.
Teenagers, like adults, need grief support that’s real. That doesn’t try to fix or flatten what they’re feeling. That allows space for the mess.
What Teenagers Actually Need After Loss
Here’s what we’ve seen time and again:
Teenagers don’t need rescuing.
They need adults who are steady.
They need:
Permission to feel sad and distracted and furious—all in the same day
Spaces where they don’t have to “be strong”
Someone who can hold space without turning away
Grief coaching tools that help them process feelings without forcing disclosure
This is where a grief support course—tailored to real-life settings—can be transformative.
Training Adults to Support Grieving Teens
Whether you’re a teacher, youth worker, therapist, or parent—supporting teenagers in grief isn’t about getting it perfect.
It’s about being prepared.
That’s why we created our grief coach training—a non-clinical, trauma-informed programme for those who want to support both adults and young people through grief.
You’ll learn:
How teen grief differs from adult grief
What to look for when a teenager shuts down or lashes out
What helps (and what doesn’t) when talking to a grieving teen
How to run sessions safely, whether in 1:1 or group settings
When to refer on, and how to do so ethically
This isn’t therapy—it’s grief support training designed for real people, in real settings.
The Opportunity to Do This Differently
There’s a quiet epidemic of unsupported grief in teenagers.
We can’t change what they’ve lost—but we can change how they’re supported.
And with the right tools, so can you.
👉 Find out more about our grief coach training programme here.
