Children’s anxiety in twenty five
The real picture, the science, and what actually helps
The quiet epidemic at your kitchen table
If you have a child or teenager in your life, you probably do not need statistics to tell you that anxiety is rising.
You see it in the child who refuses school but cannot explain why.
In the teenager who laughs everything off in the day and lies awake at two in the morning replaying every conversation.
In the eight year old who complains of stomach aches every Sunday night and then looks mysteriously better by late morning on a school day.
Families often arrive at the STILL Method saying the same thing
We knew something was wrong. We just did not know it was anxiety.
They are not alone. Surveys in the United Kingdom suggest that around one young person in five now meets the criteria for a probable mental health difficulty, and anxiety is one of the most common problems inside that group.
The headlines are loud. The useful part is often missing. Parents and professionals are left asking a very simple question
What exactly is happening inside anxious children, and what can we actually do that works
This article is here to answer that question in a way that is based on the best current science and practical in real family life.
Along the way you will see invitations to your free online workshop for adults who support anxious children
Free workshop page
For some readers, you will also see gentle signposts towards retraining as an anxiety coach
Not because everyone needs a new career, but because this moment in history needs more people who truly understand anxiety and know what to do about it.
Part one
What anxiety in children is and what it is not
If you strip away the jargon, anxiety is a safety system.
Under the surface a set of brain and body systems constantly scan for threat and uncertainty. When they think something might go wrong, they raise an alarm.
In children that alarm is rarely a neat sentence about worry. It shows up in behaviour and in the body.
Common patterns include
Avoidance
The child who suddenly always has a sore tummy before school.
The young person who needs the toilet whenever something difficult comes up.
The teenager who spends more and more time in their room and less and less time in the situations that matter.Reassurance seeking
Endless what if questions.
Wanting you to check and check again that everything is safe.
Needing you close by to do things they could do alone when anxiety is quiet.Anger and meltdown
When the body is flooded with threat signals, it can tip into fight mode.
That can look like rudeness, shouting, arguing, even lashing out.Shutdown
Some anxious children do not look anxious on the surface.
They go quiet, withdraw, stop trying or become the child who never causes trouble and never asks for help.
Research across many countries suggests that anxiety disorders are the most common mental health problem in childhood, affecting somewhere between one in fifteen and one in ten children and teenagers, depending on how you measure it.
Translated into a classroom of thirty pupils, at least two will meet the threshold for an anxiety disorder and several more will sit just underneath that line.
Here is the crucial point
An anxious child is not attention seeking.
They are not manipulative.
They are not broken.
They are trying to stay safe with the tools their nervous system currently has.
Part two
Why children’s anxiety is rising in twenty five
There is no single cause. But when you look at the research and at real classrooms and families, several patterns show up again and again.
More pressure and less recovery
Academic expectations, constant assessment, club schedules, homework, and the background noise of global crises all add load to young nervous systems.
Childhood has not stopped being playful and curious. It is just that many children now spend more hours of the week in some form of performance mode, with less time for unstructured rest and connection.
Digital life and endless comparison
Most teenagers now carry in their pocket a device that delivers social comparison, news, conflict and entertainment from the moment they wake to the moment they sleep.
Social media is not evil, but it is not neutral either. Studies of Generation Z consistently show higher self reported anxiety, with social media, appearance pressure and online conflict as significant factors.
Many anxious young people describe the same pattern
Their body is tired. Their brain is wired.
They are never fully switched off.
The long shadow of the pandemic years
Children who are now in primary and early secondary school spent important years of development in and out of lockdown.
Changes in routine, reduced face to face contact, and uncertainty about safety have left marks that are still playing out in school, in friendships and in family life.
Services under strain
Across the country, referrals for children and teenagers with anxiety have risen sharply.
Greater awareness is a good thing. It means more families ask for help. The difficulty is that many services are already stretched, which can mean long waits and a sense of being stuck between worry and inaction.
None of this is a reason to despair.
It is a reason to treat anxiety support as a core life skill, not an optional extra. It is also a reason why programmes and trainings that focus specifically on anxiety have become so important.
Part three
What the science says actually helps anxious children
If you type child anxiety help into a search engine, you will find an overwhelming stream of advice.
Some of it is helpful. Some of it is vague. Very little of it tells you clearly what is backed by evidence.
The research around child and adolescent anxiety points in three strong directions.
One
Helping children face fears, gently and repeatedly
Across many trials, cognitive behaviour therapy for children, which includes carefully planned facing of fears, comes out as one of the most effective treatments for anxiety disorders.
The core idea is simple
Instead of protecting a child from every anxious situation, adults help them approach it bit by bit, with plenty of support and recovery time.
A child who is terrified of school might not start with a full week.
They might begin with a planned visit to the playground after hours.
Then a short visit to the school reception.
Then a morning with a trusted adult.
Step by step, their brain learns a new story
I can do hard things and come out the other side.
Recent research also shows that parent coached programmes, where parents are guided to help their child face fears in this gradual way, can be as effective as full therapist led therapy for many families.
This approach is part of the foundation of STILL Method work.
We do not throw children into the deep end. We also do not collude with avoidance and call it safety.
Two
Changing the way adults respond
Modern research has moved beyond the idea that you only treat the child. It looks at the whole system around them.
One important idea is called family accommodation.
This means all the little ways that parents and carers change routines to reduce a child’s anxiety in the short term.
For example
Speaking for the child whenever someone asks them a question.
Allowing them to sleep in the parents bed every night because they feel scared.
Rushing to pick them up at the first sign of discomfort.
Letting anxiety quietly decide what is possible in family life.
These responses come from love. They work in the moment. They also send the brain a powerful message
You were right. That situation is too much.
Studies show that high levels of family accommodation are linked with more severe child anxiety and greater distress in the family. When parents learn to respond in new ways, child anxiety tends to reduce.
Good anxiety support must include the adults in a child’s life. It is not about blame. It is about giving parents and carers better tools.
This is why STILL Method programmes and workshops always involve work with parents and carers, not just sessions with the child.
Three
Involving parents properly in treatment
Reviews of child anxiety treatments suggest that involving parents in a thoughtful way often improves outcomes, especially for younger children.
That can include
Teaching parents how anxiety works in the brain and body, in clear everyday language.
Giving them simple ways to explain this to their child.
Coaching them in how to respond in the moment when anxiety is high.
Helping them set up small, realistic steps to help their child face fears and recover.
Again, this is completely aligned with how STILL Method sessions and training are built.
We aim to send families away with shared language, shared tools and a shared plan, rather than one anxious child and a file of notes.
Part four
How the STILL Method fits into this picture
The STILL Method was created from years of front line work with anxious children and families, not from a marketing idea.
It is also shaped by the evidence you have just read.
In practice this means
We treat anxiety as a safety and prediction problem, not as a personality flaw.
We use practical tools that help children notice what their body is doing, interrupt panic quickly and build a story where they are capable rather than fragile.
We integrate graded facing of fears. Children are never thrown in without support, but we do not avoid everything that feels uncomfortable.
We always work with parents or carers, because change in the system around the child is often where the biggest gains are made.
We train anxiety coaches so that this way of working is available not only in clinics but in schools, homes, community settings and private practice.
This is why STILL programmes are used in schools, family support services and private practice across the country. It is also why we now offer a free workshop for parents and teachers, so that more adults can access these tools without sitting on a waiting list.
Part five
If you are a parent or teacher
If you are reading this because you care about a child who seems anxious, here are three simple starting points.
Name anxiety as a safety system, not a flaw
You might say something like
Your brain is trying to keep you safe. Sometimes it gets a bit over excited and shouts danger when things are actually safe but uncomfortable. Together we can help it learn the difference.
This removes shame and opens the door to learning.
Notice where avoidance is quietly in charge
Look gently at your week.
Where has anxiety started to decide what is possible
Bedtime arrangements
Clubs and hobbies
School attendance
Sleepovers and trips
Family outings
You do not need to change everything at once. Choose one small situation where you can support your child to stay in the moment a little longer than usual, and then celebrate their effort rather than the outcome.
Do not do this alone
Anxiety is common. You have not failed because your child is anxious.
What matters now is that you get good information and practical support.
The free workshop for adults who support anxious children is designed as a safe first step. In one online session you will walk through how anxiety actually works in children, how to talk about it and some simple tools you can start using straight away in your home or classroom.
Part six
If you feel called to do this work
As the numbers of anxious children rise, the need for people who truly understand anxiety has grown with it.
Teachers, teaching assistants, youth workers, therapists, support staff and people with lived experience are quietly asking the same question
How do I get the skills to help anxious children properly, without pretending to be a psychologist
This is where anxiety coach training sits.
An anxiety coach is not a replacement for clinical services. Instead, coaches offer structured, practical programmes that help children and families
Understand what anxiety is and what it is not
Learn tools to calm the body and mind
Face fears in a planned, supported way
Reclaim parts of life that anxiety has taken over
The STILL Method anxiety coach training takes the science and practice described in this article and turns it into a clear programme you can deliver in schools, communities or private practice.
You learn
How to explain anxiety in simple, accurate language
How to use evidence informed tools safely
How to involve parents and carers
How to stay within an ethical scope of practice
If you already work with children, this can sit alongside your current role.
If you are changing career, it can become the spine of a new practice.
Either way, you are not doing generic wellbeing. You are building a very specific and very needed skill
Part seven
Where to go next
You do not have to hold all of this on your own.
If you are a parent, teacher or carer
Join the free online workshop for adults who support anxious children. You will leave with more understanding and a handful of tools you can use straight away.
[Internal link to your free workshop page]
If you are thinking about retraining or deepening your skills
Explore the STILL Method anxiety coach training and see how it might fit your life and work.
Children’s anxiety in twenty five is serious.
So is our capacity to respond.
Whether you are a parent searching at midnight, a teacher who sees the child hiding at the back of the class, or someone wondering if this might be your next chapter, you are already part of the answer.
