Creative Grief Activities for Non-Verbal Children
When Words Aren't Enough
Practical tools for children who can't or won't talk about loss
Six-year-old Noah hadn't spoken about his mum's death in the three months since the funeral. Not once. His dad tried. His teacher tried. The school counsellor tried.
"How are you feeling about Mummy?" they'd ask.
Noah would shrug. Look down. Say nothing. Or sometimes: "I don't know."
His dad felt helpless. How do I help him if he won't talk?
But here's what adults often miss: Noah didn't need to talk. He needed to express. And expression doesn't require words.
When a child is offered paint and paper, when their hands are given clay to shape, when they're invited to create a memory box or plant a flower, something shifts. The pressure to find the right words lifts. And grief, which has been trapped inside, finds a way out.
This article shares practical, creative activities for supporting children through grief when talking isn't working. These aren't art therapy techniques requiring specialist training—they're accessible tools that parents, teachers, care workers, and support professionals can use immediately.
For professionals wanting to deepen their skills: Our STILL Art Practitioner Training teaches you to facilitate therapeutic art activities for grief, anxiety, and emotional wellbeing with children and adults.
Because not every child grieves with words. And that's okay.
Why creative expression works when words don't
Young children lack emotional vocabulary
Children under seven are still developing the language to describe complex feelings. Even if they can say "sad" or "angry," they often can't articulate the layered, confusing mess of emotions that grief creates.
But they can show it. They can draw chaos. They can pound clay. They can tear paper. The body knows what the mouth cannot say.
Read: How children grieve at different developmental stages
Talking can feel unsafe
For some children, speaking about the person who died feels like betrayal. Or it makes the loss too real. Or they worry they'll upset the adults around them.
Creative activities bypass this resistance. There's no expectation to perform emotion or articulate feelings. The act itself becomes the processing.
Grief lives in the body, not just the mind
When grief is somatic—showing up as physical tension, stomach aches, or restlessness—verbal therapy won't reach it. Creative activities engage the hands, the body, the senses. They release what's held inside.
Learn more: Somatic tools for grieving children
Some children are naturally non-verbal processors
Neurodivergent children, children with language delays, children who are shy or introverted—these children may never be verbal processors. And they shouldn't have to be. Creative activities meet them where they are.
Discover: Supporting children with SEND through grief
Play is the language of childhood
Children process everything through play. Grief is no exception. When we give them creative tools, we're not asking them to do something unfamiliar. We're inviting them to do what comes naturally.
Activities for different ages and abilities
Ages 3-5: Early years
Memory Box Creation
Give the child a shoe box or small container and invite them to fill it with objects that remind them of the person who died.
A photo
A piece of clothing
A toy they shared
Anything that feels important
No rules. No right or wrong. Just collecting and containing.
Why it works: Tangible objects provide comfort when abstract concepts like "death" are too big to grasp. The box becomes a safe place to "keep" the person.
Handprint Art
Paint the child's hand and press it onto paper. Add the date and the person's name.
Optional: If you have a photo of the person, trace their hand too and place the prints side by side.
Why it works: Young children find comfort in physical presence. Seeing their hand creates a connection—"I was here with them."
Playdough or Clay
Give the child playdough, clay, or kinetic sand. No instructions. Just let them squish, pound, roll, shape.
If they want to talk while they play, listen. If they don't, that's fine too.
Why it works: The sensory experience is regulating. The repetitive movements (rolling, squeezing, flattening) release physical tension.
Story Stones
Paint smooth stones with images (a heart, a star, a house, a flower). Let the child choose stones and create a "story" using them.
The story doesn't have to be about grief. But often, it will be. Children use metaphor naturally.
Why it works: Symbol and metaphor are safer than direct speech. A child might say "the star went away" when they mean "Daddy died."
Ages 6-9: Primary school
Grief Journal (No Writing Required)
Give the child a blank notebook or scrapbook. Invite them to fill it however they want:
Drawings
Stickers
Cut-out pictures from magazines
Scribbles
Colours that match how they feel
Why it works: It's private. It's theirs. And it doesn't demand language or logic.
"Feelings" Painting
Offer paint in various colours. Ask: "If your sadness was a colour, what would it be? What about your anger? Your missing?"
Let them paint abstract shapes, patterns, or chaos.
Why it works: Children can express complex emotion through colour and movement without needing words.
Memory Jar
Provide a jar and small pieces of paper. Invite the child to write or draw memories of the person who died and fold them into the jar.
Whenever they miss the person, they can pull out a memory.
Why it works: Creates a ritual for remembering. Provides comfort when grief feels overwhelming.
"Before and After" Drawing
Give the child two pieces of paper. Label one "Before" and one "Now."
Invite them to draw what life felt like before the loss and what it feels like now.
Why it works: Acknowledges the rupture grief creates. Helps children name what's changed.
Worry Dolls
Traditional worry dolls (or make your own with pipe cleaners and fabric). The child tells the doll their worry and places it under their pillow.
Why it works: Externalising worry reduces its power. The ritual feels magical to younger children.
Ages 10-12: Upper primary
Timeline Creation
Provide a large piece of paper. Invite the child to create a visual timeline of their life with the person who died.
They can draw, write, add photos, use stickers—whatever they want.
Why it works: Helps children see the whole relationship, not just the ending. Reminds them of joy alongside loss.
Letter Writing (That Will Never Be Sent)
Give the child paper and pens. Invite them to write a letter to the person who died.
They can say anything: I miss you. I'm angry. I don't understand. I love you.
The letter stays private. They can keep it, burn it, tear it up—their choice.
Why it works: Permission to be honest without fear of hurting anyone. The act of writing is release.
Music Playlist
Help the child create a playlist of songs that remind them of the person or that match how they feel.
They can share it or keep it private.
Why it works: Music accesses emotion in ways words cannot. Creating the list is an act of honouring.
Collage Creation
Provide magazines, scissors, glue, and a large piece of paper.
Invite the child to create a collage representing:
The person who died
How grief feels
What they wish people understood
Why it works: The act of searching, cutting, and arranging is meditative. The finished piece often surprises them with what it reveals.
Memory Quilt Square
Give the child fabric, fabric markers, or paints. Invite them to create a quilt square representing the person who died.
If possible, these can be sewn together with family members' squares to create a memory quilt.
Why it works: Creates a lasting, tangible memorial. The collaborative element can be healing for families.
Ages 13-18: Teenagers
Photography Project
Give the teen a camera (or phone). Invite them to photograph things that:
Remind them of the person
Represent how grief feels
Show what helps them cope
Why it works: Teens often resist "childish" activities but respond to projects that feel mature. Photography is creative without being vulnerable.
Spotify Playlist + Annotations
Create a playlist with songs that represent different stages or aspects of grief.
Invite the teen to write brief annotations for each song explaining why they chose it.
Why it works: Music speaks to teens in profound ways. The annotation adds reflection without demanding exposure.
Zine Creation
Provide paper, pens, scissors, glue. Invite the teen to create a small zine (self-published magazine) about grief, loss, or remembering.
They can include:
Drawings
Poems
Collage
Photos
Whatever they want
Why it works: Zines feel edgy and personal. The format encourages honesty.
Video Diary
Offer the teen space to record video messages to themselves or to the person who died.
They can talk, cry, say nothing, show objects—whatever feels right.
Why it works: Video feels less formal than writing. The teen controls what's recorded and whether anyone ever sees it.
Mixed Media Self-Portrait
Invite the teen to create a self-portrait using any medium (paint, collage, photography, digital art) that represents who they are now—after loss.
Why it works: Grief changes identity, especially in adolescence. This activity acknowledges that transformation.
Activities for all ages
Memory Stones
Go on a walk together. Collect stones. Paint them with words, colours, or symbols that represent the person who died.
Place them somewhere meaningful: a garden, the grave, a special spot.
Why it works: The walk itself is regulating. The stones become a permanent memorial.
Planting Something Living
Plant a tree, a flower, or a potted plant in memory of the person.
Care for it together. Watch it grow.
Why it works: Life continuing after death is a powerful metaphor. The act of nurturing something helps children feel less helpless.
Memory Book
Create a scrapbook together with photos, stories, drawings, and mementos of the person who died.
Invite extended family to contribute pages if appropriate.
Why it works: Collaborative remembering keeps the person present in family life. The child sees they're not alone in missing them.
"What I Wish You Knew" Drawing
Invite the child to draw a picture representing what they wish adults understood about their grief.
No pressure to explain it verbally unless they want to.
Why it works: Gives children a voice without demanding words. Often reveals feelings they couldn't articulate.
Build Something Together
Lego, blocks, craft project—anything constructive.
Work side by side in companionable silence or gentle conversation.
Why it works: The parallel activity takes pressure off. Children often open up when they're not facing an adult directly.
How to use these activities effectively
Don't force
If a child resists an activity, drop it. Try something else. Forcing creative expression defeats the purpose.
Follow their lead
If they want to make the memory box purple and fill it with rocks, let them. This is their grief, not yours.
Sit with silence
You don't need to fill every pause with words. Sometimes the most supportive thing is just being present while they create.
Don't interpret
Resist the urge to analyze what they've made. "Is this meant to be Daddy?" can feel intrusive.
Instead: "Tell me about your picture if you want to."
Repeat activities
Children often want to do the same activity multiple times. This is healthy. Repetition is processing.
Invite, don't instruct
"Would you like to paint today?" not "We're going to paint your feelings now."
Choice creates safety.
Keep it accessible
You don't need fancy supplies. Crayons, paper, cardboard boxes, sticks from the garden—simple is often best.
Create without agenda
Not every creative session needs to be about grief. Sometimes children just need to create something joyful. That's healing too.
What to do with what they create
Let them decide
"Would you like to keep this? Throw it away? Give it to someone?"
Their choice. Their process.
Create a portfolio
If they want, keep their grief art in a folder or box. Over time, they can look back and see how their feelings have changed.
Share with permission only
Never display their grief art without asking. It's private unless they want to share it.
Destroy mindfully
If they want to tear up, burn, or bury what they've made, that's okay. Destruction can be part of processing.
For neurodivergent children
Adapt for sensory needs
Offer alternatives to messy textures (e.g., digital art instead of paint)
Provide sensory-friendly materials
Allow movement breaks
Don't insist on sitting still
Use visual schedules
Show the child what activity will happen and for how long. Predictability reduces anxiety.
Offer structure
Open-ended activities can be overwhelming. Provide clear options: "Do you want to use the blue clay or the red clay?"
Respect stimming
If the child is rocking, humming, or fidgeting while creating, that's self-regulation. Don't stop it.
Learn more: Supporting neurodivergent children through grief
When creative activities aren't enough
Most grieving children benefit from creative expression alongside patient, attuned adults. But some children need more.
Seek professional support if:
The child creates disturbing, violent, or graphic images repeatedly
Creative play becomes obsessive or interferes with daily functioning
The child shows no emotion through any medium for months
Self-harm or suicidal themes appear in their creations
You feel out of your depth
Read: When to refer for complex grief in children
For professionals: Creating a grief-friendly space
Stock a grief toolkit
Keep supplies on hand:
Paper, card, markers, crayons
Clay or playdough
Magazines for collage
Fabric scraps
Glue, scissors, tape
Small boxes or jars
Smooth stones
Create a comfortable environment
Low lighting
Soft seating
Quiet
Private
No pressure
Explain confidentiality
Children need to know their creations are private unless they choose to share.
Document with permission
If you're using creative work to track progress, ask permission first.
Train in grief-informed creative practice
Understanding developmental grief, trauma responses, and when to refer is essential for anyone using creative tools with bereaved children.
Professional Training Options:
Child Grief Coach Training - Comprehensive 3-day programme including guidance on using creative tools safely and effectively, with a complete six-week programme for supporting bereaved children in schools and care settings.
STILL Art Practitioner Training - Specialized training in using creative and therapeutic art techniques for emotional wellbeing and grief support. Learn to facilitate art-based activities that support children (and adults) through loss, anxiety, and emotional processing.
Both programmes are accredited and designed for professionals working in education, care, wellbeing, and therapeutic settings.
Explore all professional training options →
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to be artistic to use these activities?
No. These aren't about creating beautiful art. They're about expression. The messier and more chaotic, the better sometimes. You're a facilitator, not an art teacher.
What if the child creates something disturbing?
Stay calm. Don't react with shock or alarm. Gently ask: "Can you tell me about this?" Disturbing images are often the child's way of showing how overwhelming grief feels. If it's a one-off, it's likely healthy processing. If it's repetitive and graphic, seek professional support.
My child won't engage with any activities. What now?
Don't force it. Some children just need time and presence. Sit with them. Be available. Let them see you doing creative things without pressure to join. If withdrawal persists beyond a few months, consider professional support.
Can these activities replace therapy?
No. Creative activities are supportive tools, not therapy. They complement professional help but don't replace it when clinical intervention is needed.
How often should we do creative activities?
As often or as little as the child wants. Some children want daily creative time. Others prefer weekly. Follow their lead.
Should I do the activities with them or just supervise?
Both work. Some children want you to create alongside them. Others want privacy. Ask: "Do you want me to make something too, or would you prefer to work alone?"
What if the child wants to destroy what they've made?
Let them (within reason). Tearing, crumpling, or throwing away grief art can be part of processing. It's their creation and their choice.
My child only wants to create happy things. Is that avoidance?
Not necessarily. Creating joy is healing too. Children don't need to make "sad art" to process grief. If they're functioning otherwise, let them create what feels right.
Can I use these activities in a classroom setting?
Yes, with adaptations. Whole-class memory activities after a shared loss can be powerful. Individual grief work is better done one-to-one or in small groups with parental consent.
How do I know if creative activities are helping?
Look for: increased willingness to engage, moments of calm during the activity, spontaneous comments about the person who died, improved sleep or behaviour, or the child returning to the activity repeatedly. Progress is often subtle.
Case study: When creativity unlocked grief
Aisha, age 8
Aisha's grandmother died. For two months, Aisha insisted she was "fine." She refused to talk about it. Her mum felt shut out.
A school support worker offered Aisha paints and said: "Make me a picture of anything."
Aisha painted a dark, stormy sky with a tiny figure at the bottom.
The worker said gently: "That looks like a big storm."
Aisha nodded. Then, quietly: "That's me. And I can't find Nana."
That was the opening. Not through a question. Through colour and space and the safety of not having to use words until she was ready.
Over the following weeks, Aisha painted more. Sometimes dark, sometimes bright. Slowly, she began to talk. But the painting came first.
The art gave her permission to feel what she couldn't say.
Final thoughts
Not every child grieves with words. Some draw their sadness in jagged black lines. Some build memory towers with Lego. Some plant flowers and watch them grow.
All of it is grief. All of it is valid. All of it is healing.
When we offer children creative tools without expectation, we're saying: You don't have to perform this grief. You don't have to explain it. You just have to be.
And sometimes, that permission to simply be in their grief—to make it visible without words—is the most healing gift we can give.
Additional Resources
Read next:
Somatic tools for helping children process grief - Body-based approaches
How children grieve at different ages - Developmental understanding
Why angry children are often grieving - Behaviour as expression
Physical signs of grief in children - When grief lives in the body
More resources for supporting grieving children - Complete hub
Explore our services:
Child Grief Coach Training - Comprehensive professional training
STILL Art Practitioner Training - Specialized training in therapeutic art for wellbeing
STILL Early programme for ages 4-7 - Emotional regulation for young children
Part of our Childhood Bereavement Resource Library
Explore more evidence-based guides for supporting grieving children:
Visit the complete resource hub →
Also training to support grieving adults? Life After Loss adult grief training →
